You know, I’ve been thinking. Do evil villains take vacations? Or is evil-ing a full time thing? I don’t have any experience in making evil schemes, but I would think that taking a vacation could be both beneficial and hurtful. Why? Let’s take a look …
We’ve all been there. Tired, stressed, and just wanting to eat ice cream all day … or maybe that’s just me? Regardless, taking a vacation allows someone to fully relax, de-stress, and think happy thoughts. Although it may sound counterintuitive, a happier villain could mean a more well-thought out evil scheme. It could also give villains an opportunity to observe their surroundings and potential targets. But what would a spiral villain’s vacation plan look like? Perhaps something like this …
8:00 AM: Awake bright and early. Evil never sleeps.
8:30 AM: Take a morning beach stroll … on the back of the minions. Every villain has evil minions.
9:30 AM: Eat pancakes. Lots and lots of pancakes.
10:00 AM – 1:00 PM: Relax on the warm sand. Maybe even take a dip in the water.
1:30 PM: Send the minions to grab lunch.
2:00 PM: Play with the water-moles. (I never said played nice … )
2:30 PM: Think about all the ways they could crush their nemesis.
3:00 PM -5:00 PM: Nap. Okay, maybe evil does sleep.
5:30 PM: Meet up with other villains for dinner. What, you thought villains couldn’t do small talk?
7:00 PM: Spend the rest of the right terrorizing civilai– err, “a night on the town.”
10:00 PM: Sleep. Evil most definitely sleeps.
With all the plotting villains do all the time, I wouldn’t be surprised if a schedule like this would be a welcoming and refreshing change of pace. After all, EVERYONE needs some time to calm down, right? Or who knows … maybe villains secretly do this type of stuff every day.
Though a vacation could be looked at as a nice time to clear the mind, it could also be looked at as a distraction and maybe even boring. Just take a look at what happened to Malistaire when he retired. Retirement is basically a really long vacation, and he didn’t even know what to do with himself! In fact, he was BEGGING to be put back into the game! So, maybe plotting actually gives villains purpose. Maybe being evil IS their vacation? Besides, is a vacation really a vacation if villains can’t help themselves along the way? Even during retirement, Malistaire was pulling pranks inside the KingsIsle office. They were much more tame than his spiral takeovers … but still trouble nonetheless. Putting a stapler in Jello? Evil (and genius).
The Community Speaks
I was torn on the villain vacation debacle, so I asked the community for input.
Some people thought that villains certainly do take (and need!) vacations:
I think they do. We all need our vacations!
— AroundTheSpiralwEL (@AroundTheSpiral) June 20, 2017
Grandfather spider seemed to be taking things pretty leisurely until we showed him in Mirage that he underestimated us.
— Blue Sparx (@BlueSparxLPs) June 20, 2017
I've met some people on vacation that I'm pretty sure would qualify as super villains, so heck yes.
— Katherine Light (@WizKathLight) June 20, 2017
Yes to the lovely beaches of the Floating Land. We all need some tropical relaxation once in awhile!! 😎
— Kestrel DragonHeart (@KesDragonHeart) June 20, 2017
In fort rachias there is the trophy room and there is something from watermoles in celestia, I bet morganthe took a nice suntan on the beach
— Daniel Stormblade (@DanStormbreaker) June 21, 2017
Others thought that there’s NO WAY villains could take a vacation between their plotting and anger issues:
Nope. No vacations for them. Totally explains their anger and insanity. If they did take vacations, it would save the spiral a lot of mayhem
— Paper Spellbinder (@LastSpellbinder) June 20, 2017
No! EVIL NEVER SLEEPS!
— Gorman HexSteed (@GormanHexSteed) June 20, 2017
The point of villains is they have the wrong priorities such as revenge instead of moving on, so they certainly wouldn't know how to relax.
— Moira Stormheart (@BiancaCC27) June 21, 2017
I don't think they do. Have you seen how many wizards/pirates are trying to take them down? They dont have time for a break!
— Autumn Dreamwalker (@ADreamwalker101) June 21, 2017
Honestly I don't think so.. then there's no point playing villain xDD
— Fallon Leaf (@fallonxeese) June 21, 2017
Chrissy had a unique take and thinks that villains secretly show their nice side when no one is looking:
I think their villainess actually gets to them after a while & they vacation to do secret acts of kindness & delight in getting away with it
— Chrissy The Blesser (@ChrissyzTweet) June 21, 2017
Overall, the poll ended in a clean 50/50 split.
I'll put a poll too:
Do you think the spiral's villains take vacations?
— Vanessa Mythdust (@VanessaMythdust) June 20, 2017
Looks like we’ll never know what villains do behind closed doors.
** Thank you to everyone who voiced their opinions. If your tweet didn’t make it into the post, I’m sorry! I tried to have an equal number of Yes and No.